A Coachee's Guide to..., coaching topics

A Coachee’s Guide to….. Values

Your Values represent what is important to you in life. Knowing your Values can help you understand what drives you, what you enjoy, what inspires you and what you would like more of.

values quote

I often use Values as a framework in coaching sessions where the coachee wants “something to change” or “something to be different” or feels that “something isn’t quite right”, and often when they say “I don’t know what it is exactly but…..”

Understanding your values may guide you in the choices you make, or help you understand your responses to situations. For example, if you value family you might try to spend more time with them, if you value independence you might feel overwhelmed when you don’t have your own space, or choices are made for you.

Understanding the values of those around you, can help understand the differences in the way people behave or respond.

Knowing how your personal values overlap with the values of your workplace can help motivate you and find more fulfilment at work, or find the “right” place to work for you.

It’s important to remember that some values tend to be quite stable over time, whilst others may change. For example, at the start of your career, success and finances or adventure might be your Key Values. At other times family or friends might be more important. Your Values can also be situational eg. what’s true for you at work may not be true for you at home.

So how do you identify your values?

Many coaches, particularly Life and Career Coaches use value identification exercises and lists of “example values” can be found using a straightforward google search. However, these lists can be quite intimidating and some psychologists feel that they “lead” people to fall into certain typical values.

Coaching questions that might start to identify values include “What’s important to you about this situation at this moment in time?” or “What makes this the thing that you want to work on now?” I have two more structured ways of identifying values that I use in coaching.

Firstly – the word based version – typically I would present coachees with a list of common values (some examples might be “learning”, “family”, “success”, “health”, “respect”, “curiosity”, “career”) and ask you to fairly quickly identify up to 10 words that stand out to you. Then I would ask you to identify the top three – sometimes imagining that you have to pack a case to take away with you and can only fit three in. Sometimes we might even identify the top 1, but often your top three is the most useful to work with.

The second option is one that I use with people who prefer images to words. There are two slightly different versions of this.

20200113_100534 In a one-to-one face to face session I might use a set of cards with images on and get you to select those they are particularly drawn to. Although the cards have words on the reverse, these aren’t always what you associate with the picture so I tend not to turn them over! (For example, these images to me represent calm, curiosity, independence fun, warmth and knowledge – but they probably mean something totally different to you!)

 

 

balloonFor an online coaching session, I might ask you to do a bit of pre-work  find images from the internet, magazines, photos etc that you are particularly drawn to. During the session, you would share those with me over a video call and we would work to understand what the images mean to you and what insight you get from thinking about them into their values. (For example, this image represents both “reflection” and “calm” to me, as well as “independence”.)

Once you have identified your Values – we then look at whether these give any insight into what “isn’t quite right” or “needs to be different” or helps you make choices or decisions.

My own experience is that identifying and reflecting on my Values has given me a sense of identity and an understanding of why certain parts of my previous role left me buzzing and exhilarated whilst others left me drained. Knowing my Values has also helped shape what I do now as a coach and diversity and inclusion specialist. Finally, it helps me understand my own response in some challenging situations… but that is a whole other blog post!